One for the ladies.

 

When I saw Janet Street Porter sat behind the panel with Denise, Colleen et al on Loose Women I'll be straight with you, I was gutted.

I've always loved JSP for what seems like forever admiring her brutal honesty and coarse capability of taking the piss out of herself. I loved her on that Gordon Ramsey programme not just for her passion for the subject of sustainable farming but through her capacity to shut the twat up.

I've been making and effort to watch it to see if somehow she's augmented the collaborative IQ of the panel into verbalising something other than the whinging, seeping, bitter, righteous nonsense it normally does. I'm a bit undecided so far. We've seen less of juvenile Carol McGriffin, but more of wacky, perma-pissed mentalist Sherie Hewson.

Thing is about McGriffin, although caustic, she doesnt seem as begrudging of general fun times as the rest of them do. Andrea McClean is a horsey non-entity, struggling with regimenting the disruptive pupils in the class akin to leaving a prefect in charge of a bottom set.

The news that Colleen Nolan is set to leave should come as gratifying to both Mclean and co-controller Kate Thornton as her cattish wisecracks were often voiced in the direction of less confrontational members of the panel such as themselves.

Set to leave to 'pursue other projects' (that always sounds really ominous) we can only assume that Nolan is aspiring to become a full time novellist as her recent book 'Envy' (similar to Nicole Ritchie's The Truth about Diamonds, or any of Jordan, sorry, Katie Price's shit) penned in a similar pseudo-reality style became a best-seller.

My favourite Loose Woman by far is Denise Welch, who I personally relate to in far more ways than any of the others. An open sufferer of mental health issues, and a fellow Geordie, I've always found her down-to-earth even in the midst of being a recovering alcoholic and cocaine addict. I even had a sly 'Gan on Son!' at her husband Tim Healy standing up for her ("She's 54 and got four jobs ye'knaa!") when continual cock-end Jason Gardiner criticised her on Dancing on Ice.

I'm hoping in the absence of Colleen, the addition of Janet, standards such as Denise and guest presenters such as hilarious Sarah Millican, there's hope for intelligent discussion on Loose Women yet.

Maybe.